Retail WILL be the death of me...

"Everyone should be required to work retail for atleast three months of their lives."

A very wise customer once told me this, and I couldn't have agreed more. This of course was after the person in front of her yelled at me over who knows what.
If there's anything I learned from working retail it is that the world is filled with ignorant and mean people. Big suprise right? Work today was just one of those days when I come home wishing I never had to return to work again. Sometime I wonder if it's worth the minimum wage...Ah well it could always be worse I suppose.

But from working retail for the past couple years I have come up with a list of the top 7 different customers that I deal with on a daily basis. It goes as follows.

-Speedy Gonzalez. This customer comes into the store with a plan. That plan is to get in and out as fast as possible. While waiting in line they go from register to register hoping to get to the cashier as fast as possible. When in actuality all this switching lanes is taking up more time than if they stayed in one spot. When they finally get to check out they complain about how slow the rest of the world is and when you cannot understand what they are saying because they talk to fast, or heaven knows you don't ring them out at the speed of sound they yell at how incompenetly slow you are and how you ruined their day. Touche my friend.

-The Slowsky. The total opposite of the speedster. The Slowsky spends HOURS and HOURS in the store slowly meandering through the aisles for fun. This customer especially likes to come in just seconds before closing and slowly wander through the store not exactly sure what they want. They don't seem to care that they are causing everyone to go home twenty minutes late. Usually after this customer decides they actually do not need anything anyways. Thats great because I love just standing around waiting for you to leave.

-The Blue Toother. This one is always hard to spot. You think a customer is sparking up a nice conversation, but after a dirty look and a point to the ear you realize that conversation was not meant for you. While in line they act annoyed when you ask them simple questions like if they needed anything else, or tell them what their total is. Sorry for doing my job, I did not mean to get in your way. A wonderful blue toother will stand in line extra long organizing their things while talking on the phone not paying attention to the other people waiting in line. This will cause even more pleasant customers.

-The Victim. The customer that thinks the world is out to get them. What I can't return my computer that I bought eight months ago because I decided last week that I did not like the color? I just haven't had time in the past year to bring it in because I fell and broke my foot, my dog died, my brother got sick, and I had malaria for three months, and I can't read so I had no way of knowing. Nope, sorry, I don't care what your silly excuses are, rules are rules. And guess what the world is not out to get you. You are just too lazy to get up and do things like the rest of the world does. You aren't special so don't expect any special treatment.

-The Ignorant DASHDJKSADHKA. My personal favorite type of customer. The one who does not care what he/she says they are getting what they want. And they don't care who or what they hurt on their way to get there. All the worst names and things said to me have been from complete strangers. From the Ignorant DASHDJKSADHKA. Luckily I am not scared when you threaten me, or call me any mixture of profanic names. It's more humourous than anything. I feel sad for you, sad that you think the only way you can talk to people is treat them like they are less than human. Well you are less than human.

- The Talker. Now this isn't necessarily a customer I dislike. After a day dealing with Ignorant DJASKLDAS and Victims, and Blue Toothers a Talker is not so bad. Maybe I do not care about how your identity was stolen, or that your husband is a total tool, or that your dream is to move to the Caribbean, but you sure make the day a whole lot more interesting. Sometimes sharing family gossip with a complete stranger is good for the soul, and I really don't mind listening. As long as this doesn't go on for twenty minutes, Mr. Anti Obama man.

- The Saint. Of course with all bad customers, there are not many, but there are a few wonderful people. These people give me hope that this world is not full of complete and total morans and ignorant fools. It's nice to have someone ask how you are, or after you say the have a nice day, they sincerely shoot one back. It's nice to hear the occasional thanks for helping me. I really sometimes do enjoy hearing about people's lives- the positive things please. It is always especially nice to have the Saint come after the Ignorant DHASLDJASH and assure you that you really aren't some imcompenet failure at life, but really it's the other way around.

Now of course not every person can fit into one of these categories, sometimes it's a mixture, and bits and pieces of a few. Some days are worse than others and some days I wonder why I even bother working at place where people are so under appreciated. While other days aren't so bad and the people I work with make up for the crazies that come in throughout the day.

All I'm trying to say is next time you go into a retail store just try and act humane to the person on the other side of the counter. Just because they are working retail doesn't mean they are a failure at life and it gives you no right to belittle them. Sometimes you need a job to get through college and pay some extra bills. Hey I don't want to be there anymore than you do, but someone's got to do the job. Just remember that person on the other side of the counter is someone's daughter, mother, son, father, cousin, grandparent, sibling, friend, neighbor, teacher, leader, mentor, etc. Treat them that way. It will make my time and yours so much more enjoyable.