i think i've found it.
lately i've been really concerned, worried, doubting about next year. i'm afraid ill go away to school and i'll hate it. hate the people, hate my classes, hate what i thought i wanted to spend the rest of my life doing.
i've had this big fear that i'll be at school, studying the major i finally decided on, and hate it. then what am i going to do?
i've prayed about it lately, and as usual god provides. i realized that what i planned on doing is something that i love. which i guess is kind of pretty awesome.
i'm on the school newspaper and i've gotten to interview a lot of people in the past few weeks and i absolutely LOVE IT. it is fascinating learning about all these people that i've seen everyday at school. i love getting to see the work that they do, and the things they are passionate about. its an amazing feeling getting to talk to somebody about something that they feel like they were meant to do their whole life. if gives me hope that someday i'll be able to say the same thing.
i finally finished my admissions essay for columbia, and i had to explain why i want to be a journalist:
The reason I love to write is because for those few brief minutes that someone is reading your writing, they are immersed in your story. Through my words, I can make people feel a certain way, and take them to new realizations of themselves and others. I desire to be a journalist for that very reason; I want to show people how they can create change throughout the world and within themselves.
i hope i can spend the rest of my life feeling this way and maybe someday say,
"i was always meant to do this, & i love it."
that is something i've always wanted to say. and i think i might just be able to say that one day.
its like one of my all time favorite quotes says:
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
-- Harold Whitman
do what makes YOU feel alive.
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